there’s nothing you can do to stop people from disliking you so do whatever the hell is going to make you happy. it’s your life. they have their own.
Tag: note to self
simple ways to a fresh start
• reorganize the furniture in your bedroom
• clean your room
• delete apps, contacts, etc from your phone that you no longer need or use
• change your phone wallpaper
• take your journal to a spot you’ve never been to around town // spend time reflecting while there
• sell or donate a few clothes you haven’t worn in a year (or even half a year)
• make a list of your goals // pin it to wherever you’ll see it most often to remind yourself where you’re headed
navk:
“Go into the arts. I’m not kidding. The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven’s sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.”
Kurt Vonnegut
(via wordsnquotes)
when geraldine page said “never beg for anything. earn it. demand it. seek it. never beg for it.”
things to do during break: create reading lists and work them off one by one, watch movies in foreign languages, attend lectures or seminars at places you’ve never been to before, discover a new library, visit museums and galleries, send postcards to your friends, take up a new skill like photography/digital drawing, write a daily poem, take an online course on something you always loved, pick flowers and press them, rate 10 cute cafes in town, test how much you can buy for 5$ on a flea market/in second hand shops, just start walking and see where the day takes you, plan a walk/hike/bike tour, start a new blog, create a vision board, write a letter to your future self, go to indie concerts, send cute anonymous messages, try out new ice cream flavors, make your own smoothies, buy artsy magazines, take the train/subway to nowhere, go to a party where you don’t know anyone, ditch a party and spend the whole day reading outside, set up a bullet journal, jot down 5 things you are grateful for each day, create playlist for different moods, try out a new language learning app, unwind and do not use your phone for a day, try meditation, go to a food market, sleep the whole day because you can, go to the theatre/cinema/opera, take aesthetic photos of the prettiest buildings in town
Life is a juggling act. A juggling act between taking time for yourself, your school work or your job, taking time for your dreams or your family, taking time for your friends or your pets. Each of these things is a part of the 168 hours that make up a week. You have time. You will be okay. It’s okay to accidentally let a ball drop sometimes, that’s why there are more than one performers in a show, to help if something goes wrong. You might feel overwhelmed right now but get out a notebook or maybe your planner and line up a page for 7 days for this 168 hours. Divide the time you’re asleep or at school/work then see how much time you have left each day and how much time you have left for the week. It might surprise you how much time you truly have. These remaining hours you should then divide the time left between your other responsibilities like ‘general adulting’ where you do stuff around the house or pay bills etc.etc. or ‘dream time’ where you dedicate your time to work towards your dreams. Don’t forget about the people around you. It’s always best to have backup performers. You wouldn’t want to be left without a support system incase you drop a ball.
recovery is not ‘soon i will be untouched, perfect, and in a permanent state of bliss. i will be healed and all will be well, forever.’
recovery is ‘i will continue to survive despite what happens, i will find ways to cope instead of continually tearing myself down. i will recover and will see myself in a light that i never thought was possible.’
Reminded of this excerpt from Getting Through the Day: Strategies for Adults Hurt as Children by Nancy J. Napier: “It also helps to remember that healing occurs in a spiral. We swing around again and again to the same old issues, but at different turns of the spiral. Each time we confront a similar feeling or reaction we have yet another opportunity to learn and to heal. Each time, we bring with us whatever new understanding we have gained since the last time we cycled through this particular difficulty.”
u rlly gotta stop with the self deprecation humor you know? like that shit might be funny for a second but then u really gotta think “why do I find it funny to think so little of myself? why does my personal pain make for good comedy to others?” not the sort of gallows humor we as marginalized people share in response to pain but the stuff that deals with you and what you’re going through specifically. A wound cannot begin to heal if you insist on keeping it open.
Now that you’ve read “Is this despair real or are you just dehydrated?” try “Is this optimism real or have you had too much coffee?”
In retrospect “I don’t have feelings I’m just trying to stay hydrated” COULD be the title of my memoir.
“I’m not cheerful, I’ve just had a beer”
love galore 